Delightful Nerd Blog

If you’re looking to play a game that reminds you of your childhood mixed with being in prison than this is the game for you! No, I’m not kidding.

Kindergarten is a PC game by developers SmashGames and Con Man Games and it is seriously disturbing in all the best ways. You play as a cute little Kindergartener going through his school day on a Monday. You interact with your 6 classmates: Nugget, Buggs, Lily, Cindy, Monty, and Jerome, the teacher who has huge bouncing boobs (yes that’s relevant), the janitor, principal, lunch lady, and hall monitor. Your classmates and teacher each have a mission for you to complete. Once completed you are rewarded with a special item needed to beat the game. In order to beat the game you must figure out what happened to your missing classmate Billy. You only need to collect 5 items from your classmates and one from the teacher to actually find Billy because Lily is his sister and her mission is to find him.

This game can get rather tedious because you have to repeat the day several times until you figure out how to complete each mission. It took me 18 full days and countless retry’s to complete the main story. These missions range from finding items stolen by the janitor, to bullying other students, and the most extreme . . . killing all of the students. I’ll let you guess who that mission belongs to. Here’s a hint: The Janitor refers to her as “Ms. Jigglytits”. This game is about as crude and crass as a game about children can get and that is what makes this game so silly. While you’re completing missions you have to be careful. You can get caught by the janitor or sent to the principal’s office. If you get sent to the principal, unless you can talk your way out of it, he will shoot you. If you get on the janitor’s bad side he will beat you to death with his mop. These are only 2 of the ways to die however there are many more that you will find along the way.

Once you finish all the missions and get the 6 items you can do Lily’s mission: discovering what happened to Billy and why he disappeared. Well, apparently, Billy got in the way of the principal’s plan for Nugget and instead of killing him, the principal decided to use him for his experiment instead of Nugget. The principal discovered creatures living deep in the ground under the school. By experimenting on them he was able to create pills as a way to control everyone in the school. Each person was affected differently by the pills but the principal didn’t care because they were making everyone docile to a point. When he began to run low on creatures he decided to kidnap Nugget and morph his DNA with that of the creature’s and if that worked he would know he could use students for his scheme once the creatures ran out. However Billy got in the way of that and discovered the principals plan before he could get to Nugget so Billy became the lab rat instead – hence his sudden disappearance and Nugget being the only one who knew that the principal was evil and up to no good.

When you finish Lily’s mission by saving Billy and killing the principal you are not done with the game!! As a thank you, Lily and Billy give you a super special and extremely rare (only one in existence) Monstermon card: the Blue Eyes Gold Dragon. If you’ve ever been a Yu-Gi-Oh fan you’ll know why that’s funny. Something you’ll have noticed throughout the game is that there are Monstermon cards hidden everywhere. Once you collect all 25 cards and complete the full deck you unlock a different ending for the game. Go through the day again with the pack of cards and go through Nugget’s mission again to gain access to the Nugget Cave at recess. There is a sign in the cave talking about the 25 talismans. When you show the pack to Nugget at the sign an explosion occurs above ground causing you to leave the cave. Once back above ground you’ll notice the sky is red . . . and you have triggered the apocalypse. Everyone but you and Nugget explodes. Then Nugget begins talking about how they must go to a different school now and he will see you there in Kindergarten 2!! I can’t get over how awesome it was to me that that was how they ended the game and announced the sequel. At Pax East this year I found their booth and saw their promo for Kindergarten 2 which I can’t wait to play. I also received a free Nugget key chain which I love so much because he is by far my favorite character.

Anyway, my overall assessment: I really enjoyed this game! It was very easy to pick up the controls and figure out the game. The comedy aspect of it was perfect; a super kiddie and child-like game with very very dark themes. There was a moment of shock factor followed by laughter at the absurdity of it all. I got really invested the game very quickly and had trouble getting myself to stop playing. Like I said before, my favorite character in the whole game is definitely Nugget. He’s just so cute and so bizarre I can’t help but love him. I have also watched Jacksepticeye’s playthrough of the game and the voice he gives Nugget makes him 10x better. My biggest and only pet peeve of the game was it became very tedious very quickly. If you mess up something you have to start the whole day over again. It doesn’t count as days that have passed (which is why I beat the main game in only 18 days) but it still gets extremely annoying very quickly. Also finding some of the Monstermon cards were very tricky. I am not ashamed to say that I had to google how to get some. Once you find Billy and get the special Monstermon card you also unlock all the hints to where the other cards are which is super helpful but sometimes still not enough and at 2am my patience wears very thin. At the end of the day, though, I love this game and cannot wait for Kindergarten 2!

Please leave a comment and share your thoughts on the game or my review! ☺️

Kingdom Hearts holds a very special place in my heart. Specifically Kingdom Hearts II. I grew up playing video games but KHII was the first game I ever beat on my own, without the help of my brother, and sparked my true love of gaming. Since then I’ve played through it 6 or 7 times and to this day remains my all time favorite game. I played Kingdom Hearts I shortly after – odd I know, playing them out of order. That one I really struggled with. But that was part of the fun! Aside from the bubbly graphics and the connection to our favorite childhood Disney characters, part of the charm of the series is the difficulty. I have to admit, I’ve yet to beat any of the other games because of this; but I’m working on it. Naturally my progress on the other games was put on hold when, thanks to my best friend, I was able to get my hands on a copy of Kingdom Hearts III.

Having only played I and II the story of this game was slightly lost on me. Right prior to this game Sora has lost the power of waking. He must travel to different worlds with Donald and Goofy to regain this ability. It is the only way he can save his friends. While on this adventure King Mickey and Riku are working their own mission to rescue Aqua and Ven from the darkness. They need to get the 7 guardians of light in order to be able to take down Xehanort. This time his plan is to use 13 powerful hearts to create the ultimate keyblade: the χ-blade. Xehanort then plans to use this new weapon to remove all of the light from the world so that only darkness remains. In the end he succeeds in his quest; but so does Sora. After regaining the power of waking, Sora meets up with the rest of the 7 guardians: King Mickey, Riku, Ven, Aqua, Axel, and Kairi. Together they are able to take on Xehanort and his army – and win. This is the most basic summary of the plot. Only someone who has played all of the games and is knowledgeable of the full KH storyline would be able to explain everything in detail. And I will be the first to admit that I am not that person. But I think I’ve done my best!

Now onto what I do know: gameplay! Basic combat is exactly the same as the other games. Attack, block, dodge, magic, items, shortcuts, etc. were all the same button placements (I played on the Xbox one versus the PS4 I don’t have). A new combat feature that was added is the Disneyland Attractions. These are awesome and visually stunning. However I soon realized that they made all battles too easy to beat and I quickly opted not to use them. The Summon feature has also changed a bit. It is now called a Link and instead of fighting alongside an old friend you fight with them or as them. I rarely used Summon in the other games just as I rarely used Link in this game. I think it’s a cool feature but I would rather use my MP to cure myself, because I always find myself low on potions and in need of cure magic. What grasped my attention more was the new addition to the special, world-themed keyblades. Similar to the other games, once you save a world you are gifted with a keyblade with heightened XP in either strength or magic. In this game, the keyblades each have their own special attacks. This was awesome. Each keyblade’s special made me feel like a total badass. Now, with or without all these added combat features my biggest pet peeve of the game was that the bosses were too easy. Like I said earlier, part of the charm of this game series is that the boss fights are extremely difficult. For this game however, even without using specials or fancy keyblades, I was able to beat almost every boss on my first try. Although I felt cool and powerful at the time, I didn’t feel the overwhelming sense of accomplishment that usually accompanies beating a KH boss. So that was a tad disappointing.

One thing I’ve always loved about this series is with each game we get incredible improvements to traveling between worlds on the Gummi Ship. An open world flight map floored me. Being able to now fly freely and pick up collectibles and treasures in space has occupied so much of my free time now that I’m working on hundred-percenting the game. Also, upgrading the Gummi Ship is now so much easier to do and understand than in previous games, for which I am extremely grateful.

Something new that I’m really enjoying about this game is the addition of side missions and extra content. Typically when you beat Kingdom Hearts, the game is over. With this game the developers added content that is only unlocked after beating the final boss: Battlegates. Throughout the whole game I was waiting for the difficulty to kick in and now I got it. Some of these are crazy hard to beat. You fight all the enemies you’ve already met along the way but now they have twice as much health and are easily able to surround you.

Adding to the list of new content I loved – the many new worlds! I’ve been struggling to decide which one is my favorite and I can’t. I’m stuck between three. The Toy Box and Monsters Inc. were perfect and so accurate. I really found myself getting lost in these worlds.

The other world I fell in love with isn’t exactly new but it was revisited with so many changes and upgrades that it might as well be, and that is Pirates of the Caribbean! Being able to not only sail a ship but also visit individual islands was incredible. Also, having the final battle in the Maelstrom was a wonderful touch. On top of all of this the keyblade from this world, Wheel of Fate, quickly became my favorite. I had so much fun taking out enemies with the special: a staff and then a flag with the finishing move being the kraken itself. Amazing!

Overall I definitely give this game a 10/10 rating. The graphics were so beautiful. It was insane to me how accurate each world was to the movies they were based off of. The story was extremely confusing but, like the other games, this did not deter me from liking the game at all. If anything the mysteries added intrigue for me. My only real complaint is that I wish it were harder. Other than that this game has only strengthened my love for this series.

Please leave a comment if you want to share your thoughts! I’d love to hear your opinions 🙂

Delightful Nerd Blog

Enter the Nugget Cave – Kindergarten

It’s About Time – Kingdom Hearts III